• Gabriel Featherstone

Miss Piggy’s Haunting Serenade and Other Fascinating Hallucinations From Regular Folk

Image courtesy of JR Korpa & Unsplash

When I was four years old, I saw something strange in my bedroom. I was playing with my trainset in the middle of the day when I heard a weird grunting noise coming from inside my bed. The bed had a hollow interior to accommodate the storage of bedclothes, which was accessible via a sliding door. As I stared at the door, trying to figure out what the noise was, it spontaneously slid open, revealing an enormous purple clam. I don’t remember being alarmed by this development, but I was very intrigued.

The clam opened to reveal a sombre Miss Piggy in a beautiful sequin dress. She gazed sorrowfully at me for several minutes in perfect silence. None of this struck me as unusual. I was relatively new to the world and hadn’t yet worked out how to tell the difference between a normal situation and an unorthodox one. For all I knew Miss Piggy appeared inside a clam for everybody at some point and it wasn't a big deal.

After what seemed like an eternity of silence, Miss Piggy began to sing the most haunting song I’d ever heard. It was long, wordless and incredibly sad. As the song progressed, Miss Piggy’s sadness turned to rage, and her beautiful song twisted and perverted itself into a horrifying battle cry. Her face turned red and her eyes became wild with hatred. Despite this, I remained totally calm.

Miss Piggy finished her song and collapsed into the shell. The clam slammed shut and the door slid closed. I went back to playing with my trains and, eventually, my Mum called me through to the living room to watch Walking With Dinosaurs. Miss Piggy never visited me again. Years later, I realised that this encounter was not normal.

My memory of this event is incredibly vivid, and only its strangeness leads me to believe that it probably didn’t happen. It might have been a hallucination brought on by some unknown stimulus, or a vivid dream that my mind has misfiled as a real-world experience.

I was reminded of Miss Piggy's lament recently when a friend of mine told me he'd been visited by a hideous demon. The demon explained that his name was Asagoth, and he would personally escort my friend to Hell when he died. Like me, my friend was unable to determine if his experience had been an intense dream or an unexplained hallucination. Fascinated by these two surreal experiences, I decided to post the following questions on my Facebook page.

Here, for your reading pleasure, are all the responses I’ve received so far.

First Response

Second Response

Third Response

If you wish to anonymously share an account of a hallucination or weird dream you've experienced, please feel free to contact me at gabbycfeatherstone@yahoo.co.uk